to protect children, we should know something.
recently saw a old movie called"plain luca brasi, feel very sad.the film is based on real events, the story is a little girl at the age of seven, watery eyes, a cute little face.because of the clever sensible, rejected the mother of the shuttle, petite body umbrellas to walk alone on my way to school.such a clever child, who also couldn't think of there will be a pair of hands to the innocent little angel.an uncle drench the rain stopped in front of her, because good, little girl agreed with uncle umbrellas...poor boy was later sent to the hospital, the doctor found the child's body and intestinal stuffed with branches and hard, in the end, the child's most resection of the intestine, changed the human uterus, lifetime have to with a bag of life.
element luca brasi's mother said,"so many children in the world, why is this happen to my child?"yes, the world is so big, and it's nearly far away the bad guys.as the mother of two children, i in the children's sex education also often have similar anxiety.like most parents said,"evil"is too strong, the child is too weak.
however, it is great that, in the tiny tears from luca brasi's story, some of the characteristics of some of our scholars found the inflicter.
spending inflicter often has a morbid psychological
-is not a simple for sex, but to show the strong mentality, sense of control and vent anger, this is the important motivation behind the inflicter.japan's crime psychological researchers suzuki shen yuan put such inflicter summed up as"are not satisfied with the daily life, causing the morbid psychology and behavior of people".
suzuki shen yuan once said that a true story:a typical said is a young man, from small to large, very good learning is also good, but after work are often rejected by boss, so resentful toward life.from the psychological analysis, a man in some way depressed for a long time, i would find a sense of achievement in other ways to find the courage to live, this is actually a person to survive the psychological mechanisms at work, here are the negative consequences.i do not know from which day started, the young man began to trace the child, slowly began to implement harm plan.he through to enjoy the feeling of success in this respect, make up for he is at work everywhere, in order to gain a sense of control in life, of course, this sense of control is illusory, so he constantly for different children hurt, to gain time and time again illusory sense of accomplishment.
these people in fact is the life of a coward, they don't have the guts to efforts to improve access to social and the recognition of others, harm to chose a small children, to get a false sense of accomplishment to maintain life.the inflicter selected are always look small and weak, easy to get enough children as damage.megan act according to the studies of experts concluded that most of the inflicter not by violence, but by means of deception or temptation.
looking for target, especially in the following three types of children, is also the easiest way to become a target for abuse:
1, long-term ignored by parents of children
long-term ignored by parents of children, not only including the left-behind children and foster children, also including while parents in the side, but poorly regulated by his parents and care for children, this part in a survey in 2016 domestic the proportion of the most prominent.because of long-term ignored by their parents, inflicter think it is not easy to be found.in addition, children long ignored by their parents, parents is not easy to find children and behavioral abnormalities.in addition to this, and because parents failing to care for children, children will easily believe in the care of strangers, so that the perpetrators of the crime, succeed easily.so, parents, don't you want to do the work and career more at ordinary times to accompany children, get into the habit of parent-child communication, and safety is very important for the development of children.
2, obedient, clever children
a lot of parents and adults often think that obedient clever children is good boy, even some extreme parents put the children to develop"can only obey, there can be no objection to"character.but in terms of injury, the personality is likely to become the shackles of the child.because these children have grown accustomed to obedient, in front of the grown-ups can't noisy can't resist.in the case of most of the injury,"this is our secret, don't tell others, otherwise how to how to..."often become the inflicter threatening language.
there is a call"the secret of the candy house"of the public video, video in a shameless tutors, give the little girl handed a piece of candy, then pulled his pants chain...end also didn't forget to tell children:"nobody would know, this is our secret", and the little girl from the beginning to understand only just drag the piece of candy, didn't say a word.this is the true portraiture of obedient clever children.
so, as parents, we don't require children blindly obedient clever, in the usual parenting should respect children's independent consciousness, encouraging children to say"no", cultivate children to show their feelings and opinions.parents also should consciously accept the child's opinion and the suggestion, encourage children to be yourself, don't be others' eyes obedient child.
3, the lack of living substance children
according to megan's law, most of the inflicter use close to the victim or the temptation of cheating, so children who live in homes where material deprivation, is also the easiest way to the temptation of material.these children are in the process of growth, may be because of domestic economic problems, and delicious snacks, toys and rarely rarely, children upon request by their parents also lack of skills to even by means of beat and scold, let the children never speak on snacks and toys.material deprivation often breeds of greed, he couldn't help, this is the weakness of human nature.so those who lack of abnormal snacks and toys at home, but failed to get a good education to guide the children, in the face of a stranger out of toys and snacks will be flashing eyes, easily promised to strangers.poor to raise and thrift education is possible, but don't let the child lost inner fullness.
spending, however, to protect the child, don't just blame the parents
to protect children, parents, schools, society needs joint efforts, to better protect our children, the children said called sexual anquansan power:
1, parents:don't be shy about sex education
in the children's sex education, there are two things are needed, one is to let children learn to which private parts can't let people see, also can't let a person touching, if encountered in a timely manner to tell their parents;2 it is wary of acquaintances and strangers personal behaviour and action, if had to flee for help at first.in this respect, children said recommend parents and child to role-playing games, let the children in case of damage to know how to do, because most of the real damage in children often at a loss.
here about the story of a mother.the mother is a kindergarten teacher, his daughter 4 years old.in role-playing games, the mother with a toy doll when the victim, his plays a inflicter, let his daughter as a guide for bystanders doll how to respond.such as the bad touch the small pants to loudly say"no", is bad except the pants to escape just in time, but also know how to quote-p...why this form of education for children?because young children to the preaching is not too much theory, through game play, children more impressive.
2, school/kindergarten:eliminate morbid psychological people as
our schools and kindergartens, when employing people, only look at learning and work experience-calendar, ignore the psychological assessment to the health of people.if schools and kindergartens in hiring staff, can use professional psychological cepingbiao, such as the traditional"scl90"and so on, can help large probability to filter out some potential sick people.
3, society:we will improve the mechanism of punishment
by the plain luca brasi prototype of vulnerable little girl, the influence of korea-countries become asia's first implementation of the"chemical castration"country;"megan's laws"and the united states, there will be a similar injury inflicter information public...in order to better protect our children.
spending in the end, tell you a fable story:
there is a pair of hardworking, kind of a cabbage.the couple hard water the vegetables every day weeding fertilizer, also circle built a fence around the vegetable plot, cabbage grow big and strong again, very provoking love.but, unfortunately, one evening, the neighbor's 3 pigs into a vegetable garden, a chinese cabbage arch up.the couple is very sad, to the neighbor to find.neighbors said your fence was not strong, so that the pig is easy to enter.husband and wife is angry, look for the family of reid respected elders for help.go back after the couple directly into the neighbor's sty, have seized the three pigs.stormed neighbors find reason with elderly, the elderly, said:"your sty do not strong, so people can easily break into."pig neighbor blushes for, look for growing vegetables couples apology, also compensate the cabbage, vegetables a husband and wife returned the three pigs.ever since their neighbors.
to protect children, create a safe environment for children, parents need to work hard, not only actually also need the power of the people around you.children, should be covered with sunshine to grow up, not shadow!
this paper keywords:early sex education, child safety, education, family parenting
children said(micro public letter number:bb-edu), a parent-child psychological consultant, specially love tao foreign psychologists valuable knowledge of parenting.